A while back, I found myself examining the various trials I’ve experienced in my life, and whether or not I had responded to them in a healthy way. Guess what – I discovered I really hadn’t. And that was part of the problem; and one of the biggest reasons I had so much trouble “getting past my past.” But, thankfully, with God, nothing is wasted.

Over the years, I’ve discovered that a poor response to trials often exposes in us a distorted understanding or view of who God is.

Why is this happening?

Many times, the “why?” we ask God, in regards to the purpose or meaning of our pain, is actually a “demand” of Him for an explanation. It’s natural to want to make sense of it all, but too often we go to God with a long list of all we’ve done or haven’t done, and ask, “This is what I get in return?” As if life works on some sort of point system controlled by the good and bad things we do.

This exposes a wrong view of God. It proves that we’re under the impression that we’re in control, and that God owes us something; when, in fact, we owe Him everything. Forgetting His goodness and mercy, forgetting His sovereignty, forgetting His love and sacrifice for us, forgetting to be grateful for the very breath of life we’ve been given, we are blinded and consumed by our pain. We want answers…and we want them now!

Read Job chapter 38 when you’re tempted to question God. When I consider God’s sovereignty, I find myself answering with Job in chapter 40:

“Behold, I am vile; what shall I answer You? I lay my hand over my mouth.” (Job 40:4)

God uses all of our trials for our good and His glory – even the trials buried deep in our past. After all, before we knew Him, He knew us very well. “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; before you were born I sanctified you…” (Jeremiah 1:5)

A Personal Story

This is a picture of the type of back brace I wore as a child. I wore this contraption 24 hours a day for seven years in an attempt to slow down the progression of scoliosis in my back – a condition that was compromising my lung function. When I was 12 years old, with an 82 degree curve in my spine, I had back surgery to fuse it. After that, I wore a body cast for nine months…and then I was “free.” Or so I thought.

If the soul is in bondage to the mind, freedom is a charade. I recall all sorts of irreverent thoughts I had during that time, and shudder. Some I even spoke aloud to God in bed at night: “Why are You punishing me?” “What did I do to deserve this?” “Why did You make me – just so that I would be miserable?” “How can You be good when You make me suffer like this?” “Please, please, please, just let me die.” I remember these thoughts and the emotions that went with them vividly.

Though I suffered during my “brace years” from physical pain, humiliation, and fear, nothing compared to the pain brought about by my own sin, and by my misunderstanding of God and His nature.

You see, I hated what others could see: my physical deformity and the brace that made it so obvious to others. But secretly, I knew it was even worse than that. I knew how ugly I was on the inside. I knew my secret, wicked thoughts and desires. I knew I was no good – inside or out, and it was overwhelming.

My utter separation from God left me angry, terrified, isolated, broken, and in despair. Yet God used my shame and trauma to show me my sin and my deep, deep need for Jesus. Even after I got rid of the brace and body cast, the twisted ugliness inside me remained. I was still miserable, bitter, insecure, fearful, and filled with shame. My sin remained. But, in the midst of it, God was working.

Years later, after becoming a Christian, God began to show me the “work” He had begun in me even before I knew Him. He’s still faithfully doing that work. The suffering I experienced those many years ago was not in vain. He is still using it for my good and His greater glory.

He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ. (Philippians 1:6)

Are You Ready to Change Your Life?

How about you? Have you been allowing your trials or the trauma of the past to rule your life? If so, are you ready to thank God for your trials and trust His goodness, His sovereignty, and His love for you, knowing that “all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose?” (Romans 8:28)

“All things” means all things, by the way. God gives us trials because He loves us enough to mold us and conform us into His image. It’s all motivated by His love for us; and He provides rest, preservation, strength, and comfort along the way, even if we aren’t able to to see it at the time.

If we’re fully persuaded of His goodness, if we trust His sovereignty, if we know intimately His love for us, and give Him thanks in all things, including the suffering He sometimes allows, then we will walk through suffering praising His name, comforted by His peace, and growing in grace. We will choose to welcome His painful pruning and embrace His healing touch – bearing precious fruit in the end. A proper view of God and His nature matters…a lot.

Pray right now that God would empower and strengthen you to rise above the trials of life to His glory. Get to know the true God of the Bible by reading and trusting His Word. This will give you hope and courage and will help you to respond productively to both the deepest of hurts as well as the minor irritations of life. All to the glory of God!

If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. Romans 9-10

Points to remember when going through a trial:

1. God is good. (Psalm 100)
2. God is sovereign. (Job 38)
3. God loves His own. (Heb. 12:6)
4. Thank God. (1 Thes. 5:18)
5. The trial is for your ultimate good. (Rom. 8:28)
6. The purpose is for God’s glory. (John 11:4)
7. God is merciful. (Eph. 2:4)

Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Tell Me, if you have understanding. Who determined its measurements? Surely you know! Or who stretched the line upon it? To what were its foundations fastened? Or who laid its cornerstone, When the morning stars sang together, and all the sons of God shouted for joy?…Shall the one who contends with the Almighty correct Him? He who rebukes God, let him answer it. Job 38:4-7, 40:2